The missing piece of your birth preparation.

I want to talk about something that’s been on my mind for a while, and honestly, I just can’t keep quiet about it anymore. It might be the difference between you getting the support you need and want - and not.

Let’s start with…

You’re pregnant, right? Have you thought about the process of bringing your baby into the world? I’m sure the answer is yes. After all, you don’t just get pregnant and forget about how you’re going to give birth, do you?

But here’s the truth: so many women, couples, and families don’t intentionally prepare for their births. And that, right there, is the missing piece. The one thing you can control in your pregnancy.

Let’s not sugarcoat it. We can’t ignore the fact that the maternity system, as it stands, is broken. The system that is supposed to protect us and our babies is the same one that often harms us, abuses us, and makes us question our own instincts. Instead of lifting us up, it’s tearing us down. It should make us feel invincible, like we can achieve anything. But it’s not. It’s just not.

It’s a sad reality that we have to face. And it's one that many people try to avoid. We think we don’t need to dive into the statistics, to understand our local maternity policies, or ask questions about things like home birth, VBAC, gestational diabetes, or the evidence behind guidelines in our area. But we should.

I was once in your shoes. When I was pregnant with my first baby, I was naive. I believed that the midwives and consultants were there to look after me and that they truly had my best interests at heart. This isn’t a criticism of the people working within the maternity system - they are selfless and caring individuals. You don’t become a midwife without a deep love for people and desire to help women. But the harsh reality is that they are delivering a heart-led service in a system that has no heart. And it’s the women, babies, and birth partners who end up traumatised as a result.

Now, let’s take a step back and look at what we can control. What do you need to do when you open your eyes and realise that the service being offered to you is surface-level? It’s not giving you the tools you need.

When thinking about preparing for birth, I bet you’ve got a checklist on your phone. I know I did. It probably looks something like this:

Vests

Baby grows

Sleepsuits

A steriliser

Bottles

A pram

Maybe even the nursery decor.

All those lovely things for your baby. But let me ask you: what is on the list for you?

You might say, “Oh, I’ve got comfy PJs, a water bottle, spritz for bits, pads…” And yes, those are all useful and necessary. But are they paramount for your mental health postpartum? Are they going to make your experience more enjoyable and empowering? The truth is, when birth happens in a broken system, it can feel like everything is shot at you, squashed, and destroyed. And that might sound harsh, but you know what else is harsh? Giving birth in a broken system without being given a heads up, and tools to get what you want.

So, I’m going to give you the heads up you deserve.

The two things missing from your birth checklist are this:

A doula

and/or

Intentional antenatal preparation.

I’m talking about starting early enough so that it becomes part of your life, part of your daily routine. Not just “getting through pregnancy” but intentionally preparing for the birth you deserve. Becoming the expert in your pregnancy.

I cannot express this enough: Do not go through pregnancy naively. Don’t just hope for a smooth ride and a lovely birth. It’s not going to happen on its own. There are so many traps in the system. Suddenly, you’re labeled "high risk," slapped with a sticker in your green book (do you still get given those?), and everyone around you thinks something’s wrong with you. But that sticker doesn’t have to be your story.

If this message has hit you hard, if it feels a bit radical, then I want to hear from you. How did this land for you? Am I way off track? Or do you agree with me? If you truly believe the maternity system cares for you, I’d love to hear your perspective and experience. But before you go, I want to leave you with this:

Take the time to deep dive into your local maternity support. Find the right doula or hypnobirthing teacher for you. Or even better, book a quick chat with me. Let’s work together to make sure you’re getting the support you deserve for this incredible journey.

It’s time to start preparing for your birth intentionally.

With warmth and honesty,
Lucy xox