5 Things no-one tells you about c-sections (& my 3 top tips to help your recovery)
With nearly HALF of babies being born via c-section in the UK right now, its never been more important to talk about the realities of this major abdominal surgery and practical things you can do to aid your recovery.
So… you’re pregnant, sailing along excited but apprehensive about how this little bundle of joy is going to come and start a tornado in your life, you might know from early on that you want a c-section. Maybe you’ve had one before and feel more comfortable with the predictability. Maybe you have responsibilities that make the idea of spontaneous labour incredibly anxiety inducing. Or, maybe you haven’t given it any thought that your baby may be born surgically. Wherever you are on this spectrum of experience or interest in c-section, you’ve landed here and I hope you come away feeling lighter, with some practical tips and reality shone on the event that is a caesarean section birth.
My reality of a c-section, is very different to a friend I walked beside whilst we were pregnant with our first babies. She knew her baby was going to be born this way for several weeks, she was able to prepare and consider thing she could do help her recovery.
I, however, had been planning a vaginal birth and fell into the cascade of intervention.
My baby was born in theatre, in haste, and in panic. I had almost disregarded any sort of thought for c-section, as I truly believed an emergency c-section would not happen to me. There were very few conversations antenatally about the reality of this scenario, both with professionals and with friends/family; it’s not something that we really and honestly talk about in society. Oftentimes, comments such as ‘at least you and baby are safe and well’ are shared when you tell people how your baby was born. But what classifies as safe and well? Because it doesn’t feel very safe having 7 layers of your abdomen cut open and finding, usually simple, every day tasks nearly impossible due to the physical pain.
So… because the raw reality was never shared with me, here are my 5 truths about c-section:
It f****ng HURTS !!! Everywhere… all over your body. Pain that is incomparable to anything else you will ever experience. You truly don’t realise how important your core is, until it has been shattered, broken and basically made redundant.
You may feel an out of body experience… literally.
It can feel like the surgeon and anaesthetist are playing hot potato with your kidney while they get you stitched back up.
It’s scary. Because, let’s face it, being temporarily paralysed knowing someone is going to cut you open and jiggle some of your major organs around isn’t exactly on everyone’s bucket list is it? Which leads me onto:
The risk of DEATH. Also pretty terrifying, and having to sign a form to accept that you might DIE whilst your baby is being born is also not on everyone’s bucket list. Of course, childbirth carries the risk of maternal mortality regardless of how the baby is born. But being faced with a piece of paper that you have to sign to say you’re ok with increasing that risk, is scary.
The trapped wind is crippling. It’s definitely fighting for top spot to be the winner of the ‘which part of my body can bring me the most pain’ award. You know, because being cut open and having your organs exposed can do that to you. I didn’t know that.
I don’t say all this to scare you; c-section is not something to be inherently feared. But it is the reality of maternity care at this moment in time, that lots of babies are being born this way. Which means lots of women are experiencing a huge physical challenge that they are not being well enough informed about.
With this in mind, here are my 3 top tips to aid recovery and make those early hours, days and weeks just that little bit easier:
Stock up on peppermint tea! It will be your best friend for the first few days. Your trapped wind will be gutted when it realises your not giving it the top stop, but trust me, it works magic at easing that pain.
ALARM REMINDERS for painkillers. Find out which painkillers you can take and set alarms on your phone for when you can take them; because remembering 7 different times in the day to take your pain relief is enough to tip anyone over the edge. Give yourself a time frame to review, and slowly reduce the amount you’re taking. Basically, you always want to have some pain relief in your system for the first few weeks, because the last thing you need when you’ve just brought your baby earthside, whilst simultaneously battling with sleep deprivation, sore boobs, trapped wind, unwanted guests and all the other challenges of new motherhood, is to be knocked out by the PAIN (did I mention it hurts?) in your abdomen; when it could have been avoided by you being automatically reminded to take your pain killers.
Accept as much help as is offered, WITHOUT feelings of guilt or shame. 7 layers of your body have literally just been cut open to bring life into the world, you’re allowed to put your feet up. DO NOT MAKE ANYONE A BREW. Decide on rules for visitors, one being they have to brew up for everyone, especially you. And give clear orders for how you want it serving. Because your taste buds deserve your perfect cup of tea; plus hydration is key for good milk production ;).
C-section is a huge part of how we bring our babies into the world in the 21st century, no matter anyone’s opinion on it. So it’s important for the truth to be spoken. Sugar coating doesn’t help you when you’re in the depths of the night feeds with tears dripping onto your baby’s head because you weren’t expecting it to be so hard.
C-section is real. It can come with trauma, but it can also be a calm and empowering experience.
My advice: get informed, make choices that feel right for you and stand proud and firm in your decisions and boundaries; both ante- and post-natally, because you only get one chance to birth your baby.
I’d love to hear from you if anything shared here resonates, or you have any other top tips.
Until next time,
Lucy xox